As part of my PTSD recovery, my doctors suggested I find some part-time work in an area that I enjoy or am passionate about. That was easy for me, aviation. For a portion of my life I was a commercial pilot and since I was a young lad, I always love planes and helicopters. I really wanted to be a helicopter pilot but the expense of getting that license was way out of my range. I truly loved flying but the events of 9/11 brought a down turn to the aviation industry world-wide, to an extent that I do not believe it has truly fully recovered yet. I had to make a choice of staying in aviation or pursue another career that would give me stability as well as a good income. The latter won out and I went into the real estate business.
Hard at work spraying a Boeing 767
My love of flying never went away and I always seemed to keep up to date on the latest happenings. So I started to look around for a job at the airport that would be suitable for my condition. Luckily the airlines were looking for de-icing techs for the winter months. I submitted my resume, got an interview and before you know it, I am in a training class learning how to de-ice airplanes. This was the perfect job for me as it allowed me to work on my own, yet have some contact with people throughout my shift. I must say, though in the harsh elements of a Canadian winter, I really enjoyed and had a lot of fun spraying airplanes so people can get on their way safely.
The view out of my office window some mornings
Unfortunately, today marks my last day spraying airplanes so I feel some what lost. I just need to find something to occupy a little bit of my time each day and that has structure. I found that the structure of working the same time each day did a lot to help with my anxiety. The job also allowed me to be on my own when I was not having a good day and that I did not have to put on a mask to cover up.
Knowing that this day was coming, has gotten me a little down so I need something to pick me up and keep me grounded at the same time. What that job will be I do not know just yet but hopefully something comes soon as I do not want to go backwards on my recovery. If nothing else, the time off will allow me to start training again now that the “Man Cold” seems to have finally cleared up.
Onwards and upwards!
Well I had every intentions to start back training over the last couple of weeks but I have been battling a nagging “MAN COLD” that just won’t go away. From the posts of my Ottawa friends on Facebook, it seems the strong women have been hit with nasty bug.
Though I have not been able to train, I have worked my training plan and playing with a race calendar. Right now my “A” race will be the Olympic Distance at the K-Town Triathlon with the possibility of a 70.3 late season race if all goes well so rather than set myself up for disappointment my focus will be the Olympic Distance this year. There is no sense in pushing myself and getting injured. If a 70.3 distance is meant to be this year, then it is meant to be and if not then there is something to shoot for in 2016.
I have also taken this forced down time to search through the WordPress blogs for other triathletes for inspiration and training tips. One that I like is Katie Hart Morse, as she mixes up her workouts. In one of her posts, she links to a YouTube video of her doing a strength workout half way through one of her runs. I would have never thought to do that myself. It is a great idea, especially for me as I do not do enough strength core training and have always found a way to not do it at the end of the run. By doing the workout half way through, it not only gets the workout in but allows you to cool down part way through the run and get the heart rate down.
With any luck, I can finally shake this cold and the weather will finally make its way into the plus side of zero before too long. Until then, I will keep on keeping on.
It has been six months since my last post and not much has changed. I continue to fight my PTSD symptoms, though there has been some progress, there is still a lot of work to do before a full recovery happens. My fitness level has taken a huge hit and that has been mostly down to me. Shortly after running the Montreal Rock-n-Roll half marathon, I went into a fitness funk, I had no desire to swim, bike or run. I went so far as to isolate myself from the groups that I ran and cycled with, as well as “unfriend” these groups and people from my FACEBOOK contacts. Why did I do this? The only answer I can give is that I did not want to see other people reaching their goals, enjoying themselves doing their activities and that it was a conscious decision to isolate myself from people again. I even stopped visiting the blogs of people I have befriended over the last 18 months. The other part of my fitness funk is that one of the medications that I am on causes me to crave carbs and I have given in to those cravings way too much!!
Today, I start from the beginning again. I will return to my daily routine as much as possible, connecingt with all those people that have been some of my biggest cheer leaders. In terms of fitness goals, I will start small and work my way up knowing that I cannot just pick up where I left off. As to avoid disappointment, I will not sign up for any races too far in advance of race day. I realize that I run the chance of events being sold out but I will maintain the attitude, if it is meant to be, it will be.
My blog going forward will be a twice a week update that will cover my training and what is going on in my life. I will try to refrain from dwelling on my PTSD, but it is a part of my life and hopefully, this forum will give me another outlet to help the healing process along. I will try to be up beat, but there will be times that my not so happy mood will seep in.
There is one thing that is new since my last post, I got a tattoo!!! Yes, I got a tattoo. So many people that know me would have never guessed that I would get a tattoo. My orginal idea was to get Wile E Coyote chasing the Roadrunner but once I saw the art work, I decided to go a different route.
Inking the outline
Feeling o.k and no pain
Starting to fill in the colour
In the end, I am very happy with the result and I think it will match up nicely once I get an M dot tattoo on the opposite calf sometime in the future.
That’s all for now and my apologies for the disappearing act and I do hope to be more present from this point on.